Happy Thanksgiving

Another Thanksgiving is upon us, and there are a lot of things I am thankful for. Family, friends, having a life where I don't have to experience the horrors of the world. There is so much going on out there, and it's really scary. I wonder what the world is coming to, sometimes. Terrible things are in the news, people are homeless and hungry, homes are being destroyed, on and on and on. I would like to think I have perspective, but when I grumble about petty things, I realize I don't really, and thank my lucky stars that all I have to grumble about are petty things.

That being said, I haven't much cared for the holidays in the past. The holidays of my youth were spent with a stepfamily that treated me like crap. It was a drag and I was always glad when it was over and real life could resume. When we lost the kids, I looked upon the holidays with sadness and dread. It is such a cruel reminder of what was taken away from us, and it is a hole that cannot possibly be filled.

This year might be different. Although I miss the kids terribly, the pain and dread are not as acute as they have been in the past. I feel like I can breathe a little. My family is estranged, and I have come to terms with it; and have chosen a new family with which I can be myself. The realization of what a glorious gift that is hit me like a thunderbolt the other day, and I am so glad, lucky, and privileged to have these people in my life.

There will always be reminders and traces of ghosts over the holiday season. But I think this one will be an improvement on last year, and I think they will get better still.

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!